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Innovation Insights
by Stephen Shapiro

How to Change Your Emotions by Changing Your Language

Most readers (hopefully) know that there is a huge difference between being goal-less and being goal-free. Goal-less implies a complete lack of direction, motivation, and action. Goal-free means having a sense of direction, not a specific destination, and then meandering with purpose.

Goal-free versus goal-less is an example of different words with different meanings. Sometimes however, different words with similar meanings can generate different emotional responses.

Last week I was having lunch with a group of people. I was discussing the difference between goal-less and goal-free. During the conversation, one women chimed, “I am child-free, not child-less. Not having children is a choice. People who call themselves child-less often feel as though something is missing from their lives.” Wow, what a great distinction. Although both imply having no children, the emotional difference is significant. The women (and men) who thought of themselves as child-less completely got it.

Subtle differences in words can create large differences in emotion.

I was recently having lunch with a friend. She was talking about her ex-husband. She noted that when she referred to him as her “ex,” it stirred up negative emotions. It reminded her that she was once in a relationship with this man, and that things did not work out. When she referred to him by his name, there was much less emotional baggage. Now he is just a guy, and not someone she was once married to.

Subtle differences in words can create large differences in emotion.

Is your job “work,” “your career,” or “your calling?”

Are you chasing “goals” (old English for overcoming obstacles to get to your destination) or are you pursuing your “aspirations” (derived from Latin meaning “to breath life into”)?

Subtle differences in words can create large differences in emotion.

Choose your words carefully.