In a previous blog entry, I discussed an Economist article that showed:
- There is a perception that particular traits are important to good leadership, namely competence, dominance, and facial maturity. Likability and trustworthiness are not.
- Just by looking at a picture, we can get a sense of someone’s leadership qualities and hence their personality.
In that earlier blog entry, I focused primarily on point #1 and its relationship to the Presidential elections.
Today I want to talk a bit about point #2. The correlation between looks and personality has always been an interesting topic for me.
I remember a friend of mine from high school. Everything about him screamed “nerd.” He wore polo shirts buttoned to the top (back when this was not popular). His hair was greasy and slicked to the side. He always walked around with a stack of books in front of him. And yes, he wore a pocket protector with a myriad of pens. It may come as no surprise that he was the captain of the math and chess clubs. His looks matched his personality.
This made me wonder…which came first: his looks or his personality/interests.
Do nerdy looking people choose nerdy endeavors? Or do people who enjoy nerdy endeavors groom themselves to look the part?
What’s the Causality between Appearance and Personality?
A very observant colleague of mine, Kevin, gave me his thoughts on this topic:
I was walking through New York City observing the spectrum of humanity. It got me to thinking about the correlations between: level of dressing /grooming <-> how much people care what they look like to others <-> how much those people crave the approval of others. There’s a good correlation when I think about people I know.
Here’s the key point:
I think it’s how much people crave approval of others that drives what they end up looking like. I think most people try to join groups that will accept them. They get feedback from their target group and are either accepted, encouraged, discouraged or rejected. If rejected, they look for a new target group. If discouraged, they make slight changes to fit in better. It’s an iterative process.
These observations feel spot on. We adapt our appearance – clothing, hairstyle, weight, grooming habits, body language, facial expressions – to fit our “peer groups.” Sometimes we chose these groups. And sometimes they are chosen for us.
The question is, have you really chosen the life you live now? Or are you still living based on the peer group that accepted you when you were a child?
Children can be mean. They can label you in ways that haunt you forever. In fact, studies suggest that your childhood pals may have had a greater influence on your life than even your parents.
Now is the time for you to reclaim your life.
Take a look at yourself. Do you “look” the part you really want to play? If not, maybe it is time for a makeover – of your appearance, your interests, or your career. It’s never too late.
One final note from Kevin. While watching American Idol auditions with his daughter, Emily, she said:
You can tell if they’re going to be good by what they look like and if they look confident. If they look dorky they probably never had any friends to tell them they couldn’t sing. If they look normal and confident, they probably know they can sing.
Very observant coming from an 11 year old. Maybe you can judge a book by its cover.