A little more than a week ago, I was giving a friend a piggy-back ride. I lost my balance and fell forward on the sidewalk – with the weight of my friend falling on my head. Rather than my hands breaking my fall, my nose broke my fall…and my nose broke in the process. I have a huge gash on my nose and upper lip. A dozen stitches later, I look like Frankenstein’s ugly brother. While waiting 6 hours in the emergency room for the plastic surgeon, I contemplated the coming days and weeks. A time which would be a real test of my ability to “Embrace my limits.”
My looks were my shadow side – one of my limits. We may not want to admit it, but in our society, looks do matter. And I always had a deeply rooted belief that my looks contributed to and were critical to my successes in life. So, throughout my life, I lived in fear of the day when my looks — and hence my success — would vanish. That day is now here. When I look in the mirror I don’t see me anymore. Only bruises, gashes, stitches, dried blood, and open wounds.
A few days after the accident, I decided that I was well enough to venture out into the real world. I wandered down to a local nightclub. Rather than trying to hide my face, I walked in proud and confident. When people asked what happened, I would share with them the story. I definitely was not looking for sympathy. I wanted to be treated just the way I had always been treated. And I was. What I realized is that these bumps and bruises have not changed me in any substantial way. In fact they have freed me. Freed me from a hidden (and unhealthy) vanity that used to drive me at a subconscious level. This doesn’t mean I will no longer care about my looks. It only means that I am freed from the pressure of having to look good.
By recognizing and embracing your limits – the things that have a stranglehold on you – you can free yourself to be who you really are. When you do this, you realize that no matter what happens, no one can take away the real you.