A few years back, I was an instructor of Stephen Covey’s “Principle Centered Leadership” course within Accenture. Over 75% of the attendees said that achieving balance in their life was their number one reason for taking the course. This is not surprising given the fast pace of life today.
But what does balance mean?
Balance implies two opposing forces that reach equilibrium. This is not very easy to do. Remember when you were a kid trying to balance with someone else on a sea saw? Either you were up or you were down. But rarely were you balanced.
In life, either we are working hard or we playing hard. But we are not in balance.
Maybe balance is not the solution. What’s the alternative? Integration.
Find ways of integrating your work life and personal life together. Make them indistinguishable, so that it is all just part of your life. In doing this, you free up more time (because you are often “killing two birds with one stone”), you gain new interests (because you often get involved in activities you might otherwise avoid or not make time for), and your life becomes whole rather than piecemeal.
One simple example is that of a professional speaker who loves golf. He now includes golf lessons as one of his client offerings. He gets to do what he loves while making money.
This concept applies to increasing time for relationships. Find ways of doing things together with your partner: hobbies, interests, chores, or even work. A husband and wife I know are actively involved in each other’s interests. He now takes cooking lessons with her (her interest), and she goes golfing with him (his interest). They created time by integrating their activities, enabling them to have more time for their individual pursuits.
How can you begin to integrate the pieces of you life?
The process is simple. First, look at what things interest you most. These can be anything from hobbies to professional interests to simple pleasures. Next, ask how you can shift your daily schedule to “imbed” these items activities in what you do. This will require some creative thinking. Finally, have the courage to ask for what you want. It’s not always easy, but it is always possible.
Many years ago, I decided I wanted to be a professional speaker and an author. Instead of leaving the security of my consulting job, I decided to shift my responsibilities to include writing and speaking as part of my job. Unfortunately, this role did not exist. Therefore I needed to “create” a position that was of value to the organization – and then have the courage to ask for it and make it happen. I did. And my idea grew into a 20,000 person organization. As part of my job, I wrote a book that was sold (internally) to 40,000 consultants and clients. I was giving as many as 100 speeches a year to tens of thousands of people. I integrated my professional aspirations into my daily job. This eventually led to a book deal with a major publisher, which I used to launch my professional speaker career.
Here’s a fantastic – and radical – example.
A friend of mine, Gary, sells cancer insurance door-to-door. While I have no interest in perpetuating stereotypes, I am guessing that most people would cling happily to their current job if door-to-door sales was their only other alternative. But he likes it. It has afforded him the opportunity to meet wonderful people, help families in the community and make a fairly good living. While enjoyable, admittedly his job is not his passion. His passion is travel, and like most Americans, he squeezes this love into one, maybe two weeks over the course of a year.
One night, after a particularly difficult day on the job, Gary and his wife Deborah, engaged in a conversation as to how he could create more passion within his career. It was unacceptable for them to wait for retirement or a windfall of money to land in their account. They wanted to live their dreams now, while they could. So they engaged in a spirited discussion and brainstormed through a variety of ways they could infuse more passion into their lives today.
After much deliberation, the pieces started to fit together. It just so happens that Gary’s company is licensed in 47 states around the country! And as long as there are doors to knock upon, he can work in any. It was in that very moment that the decision was made. They rolled up their sleeves, did a bit of research, sold their home and purchased a 38 foot motor home so that they could hit the road and do his door-to-door job, state-by-state. No longer would they have to pine for those measly two weeks per year to enjoy the beauties that this country has to offer. Now, they could live it every day.
Initially, the thought of living in a giant box for a year was a bit daunting for Deborah. So it was her turn to explore her passions. Having been involved with numerous charitable organizations in the past, and having let that slip in recent years, she longed to get back into the community to make a difference. It occurred to Deb that they would be a rolling billboard, and there had to be a way to raise awareness and funds for a worthy organization given the continuous travel schedule they had created. It didn’t take long for Deb to partner with a charitable foundation, St. Baldrick’s, an organization that raises money to combat childhood cancer, to create a nationwide awareness tour.
Their lives are totally integrated. Gary can continue his day job, the two of them get to travel 100% of the time while spending more time together as a couple, and they get to make a difference in the world.
Although Gary and Deborah’s idea of integration may be a bit radical for most, the concept of integration can be done for anyone in any position. All it requires is a bit of creative thinking, some risk taking, and asking for what you want.