Earlier this week I had a nice reunion with a friend of mine from high school, Mary. Mary was an excellent student and went to a top notch university. Everyone had high hopes for her. Medical school seemed like the likely candidate. Then, right after graduation, she moved out to Wyoming and became a ski instructor. No medical school. No “real” job. She made enough money on the slopes to get by. Later, she decided she wanted to do a bit more — to make more of a difference in others. Therefore, she got her masters degree in education (of course while frequently skiing). She now teaches high school students during the day. Most days after work, she goes cross country skiing. During the weekends, downhill is her game. She plays the saxophone in a small, local band for fun. And she really enjoys her life. She describes it as taking retirement at 22. The goal-free approach resonated with her.
She asked me about the other people I met during my travels and the reasons they lived goal-free. Of course, the answers were many and varied. Some started that way early in life. Others changed due to job loss or a health problem. Sometimes it was a surprising opportunity that took their life in a different direction. Through this conversation, I learned the reason why Mary lives the way she does. Something I never knew. Mary’s sister died at the young age of 16. Mary decided she did not want to waste one day of her life. For years she believed that she might die young too. Every day is precious. Mary is now in her 40s and is still enjoying life…now.
Goal-Free Living is not the same as “living each day as though it were your last.” And it is not about becoming a ski instructor just because you enjoy skiing. It is about finding something that calls you forward; a burning in your belly that pulls you into the future, rather than having to push your way through the barriers, hindrances, and obstacles of life. It’s about being present to every moment, playing big and bold while finding pleasure in the simplest things.